...and chill out! This is what I need to keep reminding myself of.
Yesterday morning I had some spotting, a very small amount, but enough to get me worked up and imagining every possible thing that could be going wrong.
I don't hate my body for what happened previously with the miscarriage, it was only doing what it was meant to do when it realised the pregnancy wasn't viable. It was keeping me healthy and I cannot be more grateful for that.
I just wish that there were different "signals" that it would give me for when things are going right, instead of giving me ones that I remember as being negative (i.e. cramping/spotting).
Now I know that cramping is just my body stretching and adjusting to the situation and preparing me for the rest of the pregnancy. And I know that most women have spotting around the time when they would be due their period while they're pregnant. But because of my previous experience I automatically assume the worst is going to happen, it's totally uncontrollable!
I know I need to remain positive but at the same time I feel like I can't enjoy being pregnant because I'm automatically going to assume the worst.
I can't wait until I get a scan just so I know everything is ok. I have my first midwife appointment on Tuesday so I'll ask her then if I'll be able to get an early scan. I'd be happy even getting one at 10 weeks!
You're right...it is all about being positive and the feeling will be sent through your body by your mind.
ReplyDeleteWhen you wake up, check that box off the checklist, as being a good day for waking up. Next, go through the usual morning routine and when that's done, check that box too. Eventually you'll be checking them off subconsciously and getting through the day without doing any mental checks.
Then, one day, you'll wake up and tell Scott-in-Law "Get me to the fuckin' hospital...it's time". Noodle will be here before you know it. Then the fun will begin... :-)